Of Turkey Fools and Pie Duels
by Serena Thorn
Summary: She didn't plan to, but Veronica ended up spending last Thanksgiving with Lamb and his family. A year later she's back for Year 2. And so is Keith.


Title: Of Turkey Fools and Pie Duels  
Summary: She didn't plan to, but Veronica ended up spending last Thanksgiving with Lamb and his family. A year later she's back for Year 2. And so is Keith.  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: None  
Word Count: 10,379  
Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, Keith, OFCs, Cliff, Wallace  
Disclaimer: Veronica Mars is not owned by me, but by Rob Thomas. I'm simply borrowing these characters for non-profit entertainment.  
A/N: Post-AU S3. Follow-up to "Something to be Thankful For" and "Lamb Family Christmas."

~~

Last Christmas when Patty Lamb had given them the plane tickets for Veronica and he to spend this Thanksgiving with them in Texas, Keith had wanted to say no. He had wanted to find any way he could to get out of it and he had tried. A bail jumper in Milwaukee. An unfaithful husband downtown. Even mall Santa duty! He would have taken absolutely anything just to avoid it.

It wasn't that he considered Lamb's family to be bad people (despite who their son and brother was) but he was more attempting to avoid and deny what this represented.

That after a full year his daughter and Neptune's blue-eyed devil were still involved with one another in ways he would have forbidden if he had thought it would make a difference. It was one thing when he knew she was spending nearly every night at his apartment. It was one thing even when she declared a few months ago that she was moving in with him, which again wasn't a surprise given how much she was there anyway by spring. But this still meant something else.

Last year they had supposedly (he still wasn't convinced one of them hadn't planned it) just run into each other in some bar in Ft. Worth and Veronica had been invited to stay for Thanksgiving dinner with them. Then, Lamb had essentially been ambushed by his family at Christmas and had later invited them both over. Which just happened to be how he had been given the oh so wonderful news that Lamb was the one his daughter had been seeing for the previous month. However, neither get together had been fully planned by all involved so Keith could convince himself it wasn't the same thing.

This, of course, was different. And by different he meant very, very bad. This would be both families, such as they were, intentionally gathering together for one of the biggest American family holidays there was. And in advance no less as it was Wednesday. Wednesday evening perhaps, but clearly it would be more than just a day trip.

"It's not too late, Veronica, it looks like there's a flight leaving for San Diego in an hour. We can turn right back around," he told her almost as soon as they entered the terminal from the plane.

They had been on the ground in Texas for fifteen minutes, the last ten of which being spent getting their bags out of the overhead compartment and walking from the plane into the airport. And as much as Keith had wanted to embrace this for Veronica's sake, he was still terrified at how much she seemed to want to do this.

"Do you want to be the one to disappoint Lamb's mother?" she asked as she searched for a clear path through the terminal. "It's just for a couple of days, you'll survive. What was that you told me my first day of junior high? 'You'll go if I have to drag you?' Am I in the ballpark?"

Keith sighed. Why did she have to have such a good memory and use his previous words against him? Still, he followed Veronica to the terminal train to go to the baggage claim where they were supposed to meet their ride. A quick phone call from Veronica proved he was in fact already there and Keith just tried to bite his tongue, forcing himself to trust this wouldn't be his worst nightmare.

"So I presume the sleeping arrangements for this have already been made?" Keith asked her when the train began to move full speed ahead.

"Yes," she sighed. This again? So what if she and Lamb had slept in his old bed last year? She was pretty sure no one else would mention it and she sure wasn't going to be the one to tell her father. "It's a four bedroom house, so you'll have Jack's old room, Ana and I will have Eric's and the guys will be in Lamb's old room."

"You know, this time last year I would have said you were crazy if you'd told me this is where I would now be standing. I still can't believe I let you talk me into this as it is."

"And you can't believe I'm still with Lamb and you want to know exactly how he brainwashed me last year, I know. I've heard this all year. But last year wasn't my idea, it just happened, though I can't say I regret it. And Patty likes me more then even Lynn did. That's kind of huge for me. I'm not used to being liked by the boyfriend's parents."

Nearing baggage claim fifteen minutes later, Keith's stomach began to flip again. He had tried to get out of it even the day before, telling her someone needed to watch Backup. The next thing he knew Cliff was volunteering to look after the pooch. He hadn't missed Veronica's smirk. But now he was seconds from presumably seeing Veronica spot Lamb and take off running to do that movie style, overly cliché leap into his arms and wrap her legs around him as she kissed him like she hadn't seen him in years. He really hoped she loved him enough to spare him that.

"Oh, no," he called out finally as he slapped his hand to his forehead.

"What?" Veronica turned back to ask him when she realized he had stopped walking, genuinely worried from the tone he had used. Were they missing a bag? Had he forgotten his wallet? Had he broken something?

"I think I forgot my toothbrush Now we have to go back."

Veronica rolled her eyes. "This may come as a shock, but they sell toothbrushes in Texas. In fact, I'm sure they even have them in a gift shop around here. So if you will stop dragging your feet, we have someone who's waiting for us."

Someone who was tall, slim, dark haired, dressed a little more casually then Keith was used to seeing him and looking at his watch. Again, Keith sighed. The moment of truth had arrived.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a family gathering being hosted by a woman looking to make me a twenty-year-old wedded wife. Would you happen to know the way?" Veronica asked when she walked up and caught Lamb's distraction.

He laughed. "I might. What's in it for me if I take you there?"

"Nothing my dad needs to see," she smirked as she glanced back behind her, Keith now rather literally dragging his feet as much as possible as he was still a few feet from them.

"So is this it or were we meeting at baggage because you actually have something to pick up?"

"We learned our lesson about the hazards of checking our luggage years ago, isn't that right, sweetie?" Keith asked, finally forcing himself to accept this part of his day and join them.

"That we did," she agreed.

"Don," Keith said, finally acknowledging the younger man.

"Keith," he replied, hopeful he wouldn't cause a scene this early.

"Well as much as I'm enjoying the tension in the room, are we ready?" Veronica asked before an even more awkward silence could form.

"I am. Even got a space pretty close to the doors. I've just been waiting for you two," Lamb told them.

"Well then let's not keep everyone waiting," Keith stated.

Wordlessly, Lamb agreed and began leading them out to the car. Though Keith swore he was beginning to see spots when he walked them to a black SUV. To his knowledge, no one in Lamb's family had children and the idea of Lamb with an SUV was a terrifying thought all around. He hadn't even seen the woman yet, but Patty's words from last year were already coming back to him.

"Let me guess, the car rental place screwed you when you demanded a convertible?" Veronica quipped when she saw it.

"Very funny. I decided not bothering to rent a car this time since we're all just here for the weekend and Mom and the brothers have theirs. And for today I figured I'd bring Mom's car instead of any of the others so I could be sure I wouldn't have to make two trips for you luggage."

"Excuse you. When have you ever known me to be the typical girl?"

"I'm not answering that with your very likely armed daddy right there," he smirked.

"For those of us who weren't here last year, would anyone care to tell me what I can expect during this gathering?" Keith asked, deciding to interrupt them while he could even as they situated their few bags into the back of the SUV.

"Good food, a little cringe-worthy conversation, maybe a fist fight if you're lucky and probably a Thanksgiving special to round out the night," Veronica answered as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Consider yourself lucky, Keith," Lamb told him as he climbed into the driver's seat. "At least you're getting your own room. Some of us are getting stuck in sleeping bags in my old room for the next couple nights."

"You complained about having to sleep in your old bed last year, I would've thought you would prefer to sleep on the floor," Veronica cut in as Lamb started the car.

"I prefer my king size bed back home. At least I don't have to sleep in a fetal position there just to fraking fit in the thing."

"And tomorrow's events will include?" Keith asked, wanting to avoid finding out how Veronica had heard Lamb complaining about his old bed the year before.

Once on the road, he answered, "The tradition goes we wake up around seven when we hear Eric going through the pots and pans and or yelling up at us to find out who used what last and occasionally some swearing if no one else wants to put the coffee on. Basically, if you thought Eric was overly dramatic at Christmas, you ain't seen nothing yet. We all end up in the living room by eight no matter how hungover or tired or anything else we are. Then Mom sits us down for the parade, also no matter what, at nine. It might be lame, we may be sick of it and consider it the same every year, but believe me when I tell you she does not care. She will hide the remote. One year she hid the batteries and another year she even broke it just so we couldn't change the channel."

That time Veronica laughed. The image of all three Lamb brothers being too lazy to get up and figure out how to manually change the channel was just hilarious to her.

"Yeah, you laugh," Lamb told her, "just when I thought nothing could be worse then the parade - it didn't help it was one of those years it was almost canceled 'cause of the rain - we were made to sit through the dog show."

Veronica only laughed harder. At least now she knew what to threaten the next time he irritated her.

"Anyway, after that it's all football all day until dinner. And that time ranges every year. Mom liked it to be ready around five or six so we'd be good and tired for bed afterwards. Eric's usually adamant about it being at five so we're all still awake and sober enough to enjoy it. But then when Jack and I get hungry we get blamed for ruining his presentation or the meal in general. Some years he just finds a huff and leaves in it, either causing us to eat late or he'll just declare that we need to go see the wizard and ask him to cook us Thanksgiving dinner instead. Or he'll go and come back with Chinese or something, raving that we don't deserve to have a real Thanksgiving dinner."

"Why doesn't he ever give out appetizers or anything?" Veronica asked. "Wouldn't that solve your snacking issue?"

"We've been asking that for twenty years. Ever since he started taking over the kitchen on Thanksgiving. So far the most we've gotten out of him is that he wants to be sure we'll still be hungry by the time the food's on the table since it's usually enough to serve a small army."

"So knowing you three, it lasted, what, two days?" Veronica smirked. She had cooked for Lamb more than a few times in the last year and she remembered Jack well enough. None of the Lamb men were on the petite side and they sure liked food. It stood to reason.

Lamb took his eyes from the road for half a second to glare at her. He was not a pig! "Four days."

"I sit corrected," she giggled.

"Is Eric always that serious about his preparations?" Keith asked, briefly wondering how Lamb's older brother hadn't been institutionalized.

"On a normal day, not usually. You saw Christmas for yourselves, but Thanksgiving is his big one. But then I guess we all have our things. Mom has her parade, Jack and me have the game and Eric has his obsession with food."

"Sounds kind of like Wallace, actually," Veronica stated as she thought about her friend's pie addiction that seemed to always present itself at the holidays.

"Tell me you were kidding about that thing you two were talking about a couple weeks ago."

"What thing?" Keith asked from the backseat.

"I told you Wallace is in Michigan with his girlfriend again, yes?" She saw Lamb nod and guessed her father had done the same since he wasn't speaking. "Well, the boy loves him his pie and we were talking about our holiday plans this year, specifically for Thanksgiving. So we've kind of come up with this competition to see which of us gets the better pies this year. Quantity and quality both, but since we're not even going to be in the same state, we're going to be sending photos back and forth with each other tomorrow as the food gets made."

"You're going to drive Eric crazy with that."

"Or I can help by showing Eric what Wallace's look like, give him a sort of advantage in the competition. And it's not even cheating since I'm pretty sure Wallace will be doing the same with Michelle and her sisters. Besides, it's not like I'll be snacking so I'm pretty sure I won't end up getting yelled at unlike both members of my present company did last Christmas."

"Well tonight's dinner is going to be quick and simple, or at least as simple as it can be for eight people, and we should be just in time for it," he replied as he turned onto the exit that would take them in the direction of his mother's home.

"So is there anything else we should be aware of before we get there?" Keith asked him.

"Mind not telling my mom what a jerk you think I am?" he asked, looking to his former mentor in the rearview mirror.

"I didn't last year. Why start now?" Keith grinned back.

"Thanks. And no, I can't think of anything. Everything went pretty well last year. I figure we should be fine if we just try to do that again."

"Only this time it's for four days instead of just the one," Veronica reminded them both.

"They love you, you'll be fine. I've heard about this all year. And we are all leaving on Saturday, that way we can hopefully get some sleep in our own beds on Sunday before we all have to be back at work on Monday. In the meantime, smiles all around, try to be on your best behaviors and no matter what happens, no one under twenty-one is drinking."

"Not even if I need anesthesia from your mother asking me when I'm going to make an honest man out of her son?"

Keith cleared his throat.

"Okay, maybe a sip or two then, but other then that, no. I'm a sheriff, I would like for them to think I'm a half decent one. And that means no enabling a minor."

"Except they already know that you have. Our game of I Never, remember?"

"Yeah, we're not playing that again this year. I know Jack well enough to not trust him with you around."

"Well then I guess you're just going to have to get over that in the next two minutes," she grinned as she saw Lamb turn onto a street she remembered from the year before. Sure it had been dark but he had directed her from the passenger seat of where to go when she drove him home from that bar well enough.

If he was being honest with himself, Lamb was terrified. He knew what his mother was expecting, but he hadn't even looked at rings for Veronica yet much less planned to propose. And thank god Veronica wasn't pregnant. Yes he wanted his mother to have something to be thankful for this year, but no way were any of them ready for that. And yet even despite that he knew Keith still wanted to kill him, or at least torture him, and he honestly didn't trust his brothers to not bring up everything from last year. Sure some of it was as innocent as they had all told Keith before, but not all of it. And on top of that he knew he couldn't trust his mother to not bring up either embarrassing stories or drag a few skeletons from his childhood and teen years out with Keith.

"Okay, game time," Veronica grinned as Lamb pulled into his mother's driveway. She was nervous, but she was kind of excited too. She hated to admit it, but as crazy as they were, she liked Lamb's family. And not just because they seemed to like her, but that was a definite bonus. She only hoped her father wouldn't ruin it by bringing up their own past with Lamb. Things really had changed since then. Obviously. Four years ago they never would have been here. But now they were. And the moment of truth had arrived. A shared family holiday. Ready or not, it was time.

"Hey, Keith, you wanna help me with the bags?" Lamb asked as he climbed out of the car.

"And not have to tip you for the bellhop service? Absolutely!"

"So then I should go up and alert everyone we're here?" Veronica asked as she hopped down out of the car herself.

"Oh, I'm sure they already know. But sure, just remain calm through all the hugs and you should be fine. We'll be up in a minute."

The sun was setting and a quick glance to her watch told her it was almost seven. She took a deep breath, trying to will away the sudden nervousness hitting her. _It's just Lamb's family. You've met them before, you've even talked to a few of them a couple times over the last several months,_ she reminded herself. Still, she had to take another steadying breath before raising her hand to knock.

"Veronica!" Patty exclaimed with a huge smile when she answered the door. "I'm so glad you could make it!" she added before pulling her into a hug. A moment later when she pulled away, she asked, "What about your father? Is he here too?"

Veronica smiled. She had done her chore. "He's helping Don with the bags. It wasn't easy to tear him away from work, but yeah, I got him here."

"Well we are all very happy to have you both here," she smiled as she stepped aside and motioned for her to come in. "Look who's here, everybody!"

"Veronica!" Ana called out before rushing over to hug her, the others not far behind.

Veronica only laughed, being accepted by this group still taking some getting used to. It beat the alternative, sure, but she still couldn't believe it.

"I will accept my winnings in cash only," Don called out from the door when Keith and he walked in, both of them seeing the others still congregating around Veronica.

"Weekend's not over yet, Donnie-boy!" Jack called to him.

"Make yourself useful, take these up to your old room," he told him, shoving both of Keith's bags into his brother's arms.

"What about those?" Steve asked, pointing to the other two he had dropped by his feet. "Veronica's. I'll take 'em."

"I'll go with," she jumped in when she caught her father staring at her again.

"Don't trust me?" he smirked.

"No," she shot back with a laugh.

Once in what had been Eric's room, Veronica only watched as he set her bags down on the side of the room Ana hadn't claimed as her own for the next few nights.

"Okay, I met you at the airport, I drove and I carried your bags up to your room. I was even nice to Daddy Mars. When do I get my tip?" he asked her.

Veronica wordlessly raised up and kissed him quickly. "If you're looking for a raise, that'll have to wait until Saturday night when we're back home."

"I don't know, I think I might not be that far off from one," he told her as he turned to face her and put his arms around her, pulling her to him.

"You do realize we've left my dad alone downstairs with pretty much your whole family to get re-acquainted."

He sighed. She just had to remind him. "I never thought I'd say this in Eric's room, but I'd rather stay here."

"Come on, it's not that bad. They like me, remember?"

"Yeah and my mom is fully expecting me to ask you a certain question by Saturday. And I know for a fact your dad would stab me with the carving knife if I tried it. At least I've got about $80 coming my way since the others, aside from my mom, didn't think you and your dad would even show today."

"It could be worse. I could be the one expecting you to ask that question."

"True," he chuckled. "So you're really sure your dad won't kill me for this?"

"He didn't kill you or even cause a scene last Christmas, did he? He'll come around sooner or later. Whether he likes it or not he is kinda stuck with you no matter what. If nothing else we can just remind him what he does have to be thankful for."

"And what's that?"

"He's not a grandpa yet," she grinned.

Lamb was still laughing even when he told her, "We should really get back downstairs soon."

"How about I get changed and meet you down there?"

"Or you could get changed now and I could supervise," he grinned.

"It was creepy enough sleeping with you in your old bed with your brothers across the hall. I'm not doing that again in your brother's bed with all of them downstairs."

"I'm making a list for Saturday. The things you're going to owe me," he told her as he headed for the door finally.

"You're the one who brought me here last year. We could have gone back to my motel room and gotten take-out, but no, you brought me here instead. You only have yourself to blame," she reminded him.

When she had the room to herself a moment later, Veronica opened her rolling case and tried to decide on what to wear for dinner. _This much thinking is not supposed to be required,_ she thought as she looked over her few skirts, shirts, sweaters and pants. She wanted to make a good impression, but she didn't want to look like she was trying too hard and she knew she had to save the better outfits for tomorrow. Not that she anticipated having to dress for different meals like on a cruise ship, but she couldn't very well break out her casual holiday best just yet.

With a huff she grabbed a long-sleeved, dark green v-neck and a pair of black would-be yoga pants. Not knowing what was on the menu for tonight, whether literally or figuratively, she wanted to be prepared.

"Okay, no one who wants to get fed tomorrow is allowed to mock me or my shopping tonight," Eric called out when everyone was back in the living room. "With everything I have to do tomorrow you're lucky I even heated this up, so come on if you're comin'."

It was still several levels of surreal for Keith as he watched Don and his brothers head off into the dining room. All three of the Lamb men were nearly the exact same height, no more than an inch difference between them, all with short dark hair, each lean, each blue-eyed and even had nearly matching dimpled chins.

"Lasagna? This is your big meal for us? Why didn't you just order a couple pizzas?" Don asked him.

"Next time leave me your credit card and I will," Eric grinned as he took his seat. "I told you all I wasn't cooking tonight. And after the dime I dropped for tomorrow's feast, there was no way I was ordering pizzas or Chinese or anything else."

"It looks great, baby, your defrosting skills have come a very long way," Ana smirked before nudging him with her shoulder, trying to get him to lighten up.

Eric only glared for a moment before telling everyone, "Fine, dig in. At least we're all here now."

Despite the rocky start, dinner went pretty well once everyone started talking. Jack and Steve about their plan for their latest ad campaign, Ana about some of the more recent and funnier moments at the hospital and Keith ever so casually mentioning how business had been so crazed at Mars Investigations that he didn't know until the day before if he would be joining Veronica in Texas after all.

Veronica for her part only shot him a look, knowing full well he was lying. Not to say business might not have been that busy but Veronica had made sure that nothing would get in the way of this weekend. If nothing else, at least for the time being she was thankful she and Lamb had been allowed to stay out of the conversation for a while.

At least Patty turned her attention directly onto them.

For the next ten minutes Keith got to sit back and hear them twist a few of the facts he knew for himself. It still amazed him how the fact Don had arrested her in the past never came up, or that up until a year and a half ago they still barely tolerated each other. He knew few looking at them now, especially those outside of Neptune, would see it. Maybe they weren't holding hands or calling each other by pet names or had lost the snark between them, but it was definitely clear that something had shifted. What it had been and what had caused it, Keith couldn't help but wonder if he would ever know.

Barring another few, though much milder, outbursts from the clearly stressed middle Lamb son, dinner otherwise went off without a hitch. The meal was finished, a few glasses of wine were had and soon everyone had gone into the living room to watch an early Christmas movie while they relaxed and digested. Though a while later when most of them started to get tired, Veronica watched as her father stood and soon declared he was going to head on to bed.

"So you remembered where you put your toothbrush then?" Veronica smirked, immediately reminded of the scare he had given her back at the airport.

He grinned back at her but heard Patty before he could retort.

"Oh, both bathrooms actually have extras, still in their packages and everything, if anyone needs one."

"Never let it be said that Mom doesn't prepare for everything she can," Jack laughed.

"Welcome to the family, Keith," Ana winked.

"Night, Dad," Veronica added, trying not to laugh in her disbelief at Ana's statement. With her was one thing, but she could just imagine her father's reaction when he turned to the stairs.

Keith headed off, trying to ignore the thoughts assaulting his mind on his way to Jack's old room. _Family._ There weren't family yet. Two holidays together did not a family make. He knew that well enough from personal experience. College girlfriends taking him home to meet their parents, Lianne's parents and his staying with them even before Veronica was born. He also knew he couldn't write Veronica's attraction to Lamb off as a schoolgirl crush anymore. That much he could almost accept now, but part of him still hoped this experience, this weekend, would cause her to come to her senses.

"He seems to be taking it well," Don sighed to Veronica beside him.

"Could be worse," she shrugged. At least he hadn't stormed off, she decided.

Over the next hour they each decided to follow Keith's lead. Now, they knew in theory that they could have actually had the same sleeping arrangements they usually had, or had the year before in Lamb and Veronica's case, but none really wanted to risk it. Or rather, they didn't want to risk it after Patty's warning since she clearly wanted Keith to think higher of them than he likely currently did.

Veronica and Ana managed pretty well in Eric's old bed, Veronica as comfortable as ever and still giggling to herself at the memory of how long Lamb had tried to get comfortable in his old bed the year before. She wondered for a moment if that image was what kept Patty from getting a new bed for his room. Sure she loved her kids, but it would be some pretty amusing payback for being a handful.

Meanwhile, things weren't quite so amusing for Lamb in his old room. Not when Jack and Steve had taken the bed and he and Eric were on the floor. And not when at least one of them started snoring. He gave it three minutes before picking up the first thing he found, he guessed it was a sweatshirt, wadded it up and hurled it in the direction of the offensive noise.

Retaliation was doled out an hour later when Eric decided Don was making too much noise himself. Though his was more muttered groans in anger and annoyance then snoring, but it still resulted in a pair of rolled up socks hitting his head. Was there a calm, non-angry way he could pay Keith back for this? He guessed he had - he looked to the clock - five hours to figure it out.

Sugarplums were hardly dancing in Keith's head either as he sat up and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He needed support and he needed someone who was at least a little less likely to laugh at him for calling at 1 A.M. for this reason.

Cliff heard his phone vibrating against his own nightstand and gave it a questioning look. Who would be calling him at this time of night?

"It's me," Keith answered when Cliff finally answered.

Cliff rubbed his forehead with his palm. "What's going on, Keith? Aren't you supposed to be in Texas?"

"I am in Texas.-"

"Don't tell me. It's the first night of camp and you're calling your father to say you already want to come home?"

He almost laughed. Oh, how some things never changed. "Yes."

"What'd Lamb do this time? Are we about to have a Mrs. Sheriff Lamb sooner then expected?"

"Thank you for naming my number one fear of the evening," he sighed. "No, not that I know of at least. I just wanted someone to tell me this isn't happening. That I'm back in Neptune, getting ready to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for Veronica and me and maybe even Wallace. I'd take hearing his pie wish list all over again over this."

"Can't do that, buddy. You are there for the weekend. Just do what you did last time. Try to get Lamb's mom to talk to you, maybe try to find some good in the kid."

"Find some good in the so-called kid you've been known to go to the Veil with on more than a few occasions?" Keith countered.

"We haven't been to the Veil together since last year. So there you go, he hasn't been stepping out on V. At least not that I've bared witness to."

Keith put his head in his hand. "I didn't call to find out about Don's better qualities."

"Maybe you should've. Think about it, Keith. He's only arrested Veronica twice this year and neither time did he even try charge her. The way I hear it, he couldn't get her to talk to him any other way at the time. Anyway, you're spending Thanksgiving with him and his family at the request of your lovely daughter. That doesn't sound like they're getting less serious to me. Just try to deal with it as best you can, otherwise the whole weekend's going to drag by for you and it'll only make it worse."

Those, of course, were the words Cliff left him with for the night. In a way it worked out, Keith decided. At least then he could blame Cliff for his sleepless night instead of Veronica or even Lamb.

At exactly 6:57 A.M. it was Veronica's turn to be awakened by her cell phone, though admittedly she wasn't sure it was hers until she heard Ana groan beside her.

"There's no way that's mine. Russell's on call for the weekend whether he likes it or not."

Half-blindly, as she waited for her eyes to adjust, Veronica lifted her phone to see the text was from Wallace. She almost laughed at the fact he still had the ability to wake her up early even on vacation.

"Happy Turkey Day! It's 7 AM, you better not tell me the sheriff's brother ain't started the pie making yet," the text read as it accompanied a picture of a pie that looked like it had been made the night before.

"Don seeing if you're up yet?" Ana asked as she began to sit up.

"Best friend," she answered. "Looks like his Thanksgiving has already started."

"Clock says it's 6:59. I give Eric until 7:02 before he starts shouting."

"Have you ever thought of, maybe, medicating him?" Veronica asked her, genuinely curious.

"Are you kidding? This is premium holiday entertainment here. Some families have football games in the backyard, others have their Norman Rockwell-esque moments, we have this. Jack always pulls some stunt like hiding something, Eric yells at him, Don jumps in the middle, following Jack's lead but refusing to admit it, Patty tries to calm everyone down and Steve's just happy as long as he's got the game and maybe some popcorn. It just wouldn't be Thanksgiving without it.

"If you say so," Veronica told her as she got up from the bed herself and looked over some of the clothes she had laid out on the desk for today. "Hey, do we change for dinner or do we just eat in whatever we wore all day?"

"You can do either. It can get pretty hot with all the cooking so we will sometimes change. But also Patty has a pretty strict no jeans at Thanksgiving dinner rule."

"Great," she smiled as she picked out some jeans (to keep herself from snacking throughout the day) and a short sleeved green mock turtleneck that she decided would work for the day. At least that way she knew her dinner outfit, in theory, would remain pristine.

And then, right on time, Eric's voice rang up from the bottom of the staircase. "Some cultures consider living to forty to be a full life! I'd remember that, Jack!"

"Aww, my yearly death threat, I love my little brother," Jack grinned as he pulled his khakis on.

"What did you do this time?" Steve asked him as he tugged a sweater on.

"His measuring cups and, uh, turkey pan may have found their way to the top of the kitchen cabinets."

Don shook his head, already dressed and heading for the door. "You are one inch shorter then the both of us. What makes you think he can't get them down?"

"I could have put them in the dumpster outside. But I didn't. It's not about him not being able to find them or get them, it's just a way to get another five minutes of sleep while he has to drag one of those chairs over to do it. And of course, messing with him. It's my right as the eldest."

"For future reference, if you ever do put his cookware or knife set or whatever else in the dumpster, I will let him kill you. You do not want to keep Keith Mars from turkey on Thanksgiving. Though I do know Veronica got away with presenting him with a Cornish hen two years ago. Either way, it's dangerous and I know he'd blame me," Don told him.

"Did Jack ever do that kind of thing with their mom when she cooked Thanksgiving dinner?" Veronica asked Ana quietly as they sat down to coffee while waiting for the others to come downstairs.

"Not that I know of. I think it's Jack's way of trying to get Eric to not take it so seriously, but it backfires every year. I fear for the day Eric forces Jack to cook the feast. Jack can cook, but I think he'd order a Super Bowl party meal just to spite Eric. And of course, as the eldest, he thinks that's his job."

"Good morning, ladies," Keith smiled as he came into the living room.

"Morning, Dad," Veronica smiled. "How'd you sleep?"

"Well," he lied.

Veronica nodded, ever the keen observer. "And I think it's a new record, I've already heard from Wallace."

Keith chuckled. "Was Don right? Have you driven Eric crazy with all your picture taking yet?"

"Wait, what? What'd I miss?" Ana asked.

"My BFF and I have this sort of Interstate Pie Duel thing going on today. That's why when you put the coffee on I had Eric posing with the sort of 'before' versions of the food he was about to start up."

"No wonder he's been quiet for the last ten minutes! His work is being appreciated!" Ana laughed. "Okay, this Pie Duel thing of yours has to become tradition, just for his sake. Between Jack and Don, it's a wonder he doesn't throw the turkey right out the window sometimes."

"Hey! Hey! Happy Thanksgiving!" Don called out as he led Jack and Steve into the room.

"Happy Thanksgiving," the others chorused back to him.

"Did you boys have a good time last night?" Veronica asked him.

"If it wasn't for my mother and the fact it's a holiday, I'd be booking a hotel room right now."

"Well then I'm glad you care about me so much," Patty grinned as she walked up and planted a quick kiss on her youngest son's cheek.

"Morning, Mom," he smiled back to her. "Oh, by the way, your other sons contributed to my want. Didn't there used to be a rule here about not throwing things when people are trying to sleep?"

"When did any of you ever follow that rule?" she asked, glancing to the others, honestly wondering. Had there been any rules they had followed willingly as children or adults?

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jack shrugged. "I'm a perfect angel."

"I heard Eric earlier," Patty smirked. "Will you ever grow out of that?"

"No he won't!" Eric yelled from the kitchen. "Because your eldest is evil and does not appreciate a good holiday tradition!"

Patty laughed before calling back, "This _is_ our holiday tradition!"

Keith only shot Veronica a look, wondering how she could be enjoying this.

Over the course of the next half hour coffee was had by all, another few defrosting pie pictures were taken, shared and received, and a few more insults were traded between the brothers until finally the parade began.

For Keith it was a relief, at least with everyone engaged in the parade he could try to lose himself in it as well. Or maybe he could have if Eric hadn't been muttering something about his family only wanting the canned cranberry sauce and Veronica and Don hadn't been sitting together on the sofa. And who in the world could they both be texting from her phone on Thanksgiving? Cliff? Wallace? Sacks?

Just to prove to herself, and maybe a few others, how real this surreal setting was for her, when Veronica would see the others were distracted she would snap a few shots from her camera around the room at those engrossed in the annual parade. It didn't matter if Wallace wasn't interested or couldn't believe it himself, she had to have someone else aware of this. She even added in a picture of her and Lamb last and of course he just had to make a face. She couldn't fault him for it though, it wasn't like they were posing for a family portrait or anything. And okay, he didn't take himself too seriously, which she appreciated.

"Hey, it's getting to be that time, you want to go see what's already edible?" Jack asked as he glanced to Don.

He looked to his watch. It was a quarter to twelve. "No. You want to get stabbed, go for it. I'm fine right here."

"I'll bet," Jack winked before he headed into the kitchen.

Keith glanced over that time too. Veronica and Don, still sitting beside one another, his arm draped over the back of the sofa and behind her, Veronica still checking her phone at fifteen minute intervals and both of them seeming far too comfortable with this arrangement. He was beginning to feel the need to call Cliff again.

"Out! Get out!" Eric yelled the second he saw Jack coming into the kitchen.

"Come on, man, I just -"

"Do not make me work today!" Don yelled back to both of them. So what if this wasn't his jurisdiction anymore? He would still have to call in some favors. If it wasn't for their mother he might not even think about it until Monday, but for some reason she insisted on having them all together for Thanksgiving.

"Eric's never actually assaulted anyone with a pot or pan, has he?" Veronica asked him quietly.

Don only stood with a sigh. Some days he really hated his brothers.

"Donald," Patty tried.

"You tell them to behave and they do this? When we have company? For, what, the first time since last year and Veronica was the first since, when, before Eric married Ana?"

"I'll talk to Eric," Ana stated as she went to stand.

"No," Don told her. "I will. And you three can blame them if my talk involves reading them their rights," he added as he looked to his mother, Steve and Ana.

As he walked off, Keith got up and took the seat beside his daughter. "Would this be Lamb taking responsibility for his family? Or is he just trying to impress me?"

"I think he's just hoping that if he's able to arrest them he can have his bed back. Or maybe get to go home early."

"Can't say it isn't eventful," Steve offered, hoping his husband wouldn't be bleeding by the time he came back into the living room.

"They really do like to show off. Though I think Jack just makes up for not getting to mess with his brothers more during the year at the holidays, just to remind himself he's the eldest," Ana added.

"They really are better behaved when they're apart," Patty sighed, wondering exactly what her sons were getting up to in the kitchen. At least she hadn't heard anything breaking, but that didn't mean much with how creative they had been in the past.

She didn't have to wait long however when they all saw Don returning, without his brothers. But also without any apparent wounds.

"Jack and Eric have agreed to be civil until dinner," he told them, realizing he was about to be taking a seat in the chair since his previous seat was still occupied by his former boss.

"How'd you manage it?" Steve asked him.

"Easy. I told them if they didn't play nice that I would handcuff them to each other until they talked out their feelings."

"Aww, you do remember our third date!" Veronica grinned.

Don just grinned through his sudden embarrassment, feeling Keith's eyes boring into him. "Did you have to say that with our parents here?"

"Yes," she chuckled. It hadn't been nearly as bad as she had made it sound, they had at least still been dressed when he did that, but the look on his face was worth it.

Patty just shook her head, she couldn't claim to be surprised. Keith just sighed. Why couldn't he be allowed to believe his fantasy of Veronica and Lamb sleeping in different rooms of Lamb's apartment? Even if it was just a one-bedroom? And all signs when he visited pointed to no one sleeping on the couch? He didn't care if it was unrealistic. He liked it all the same.

"Why did you have to go all sheriff on us? I was having fun," Jack all but whined when he returned.

"You were about to be stabbed with a fork. Be glad I was here."

"When I smell food, I get hungry. It's not my fault he refuses to feed us appetizers. Or breakfast. I'd even be happy with cheese and crackers, but no. He starves us until the feast."

"And you know why," Patty told him.

"Because otherwise we'll ruin our appetites," he sighed. "You just had to force that on him. If I end up taking a bite out of the table, I can't be held responsible."

"I'm about to start on the pecan pie if anyone with a camera is interested!" Eric called out a moment later.

"That's my cue!" Veronica jumped up, happy to avoid the tension in the room for a bit.

"Exactly how many pies does your friend have in store for today?" Eric asked when he saw her, wondering if he was going for the quality or quantity portion of the competition.

"Not sure. And by the way, I'm pretty sure you could take Jack."

He laughed. "I'm an inch taller, but he's got about twenty pounds on me. He's the gym rat, with Donnie in second place. Doesn't matter. I'm used to it."

"It's too bad you guys don't go out and throw a football around. Might help you guys with some of that aggression. And I don't think us spectators would mind the show."

"No, no, no," he replied with a shake of his head. "That just turns violent and we end up sitting down to dinner talking about what we're thankful we didn't break."

"Meanwhile now we've got someone in the next room who'll probably be mentioning that he's thankful he didn't get shot today," she almost chuckled.

As the boys had promised, the next five hours went by without any other threats of bodily harm or arrests. The fact they found their perfect distraction in the form of the game starting had helped too, of course.

"Okay, okay! Who's ready to eat?" Eric called out at 5:30, after he and a few of the others had changed so as not to challenge his mother's "no jeans at dinner" rule. After the loud chorus of "I am!" and "Me!" he led the others into the dining room where their perfectly presented feat awaited them.

In addition to the twenty-pound turkey, there was pretty much something for everyone. The vegetable fanatics, the meat enthusiasts and most everyone in between. That way Eric knew there was little chance of him seeing people pushing their plates away before they had at least been mostly cleared. And as for the pies that were cooling on the counters, he was pretty sure he would be the one to win that duel Veronica had volunteered him for.

"It looks fantastic, Eric, thank you," Patty told him.

"Yeah," Veronica was quick to agree. "I wouldn't have believed most of this was today if I hadn't seen it for myself."

"Yeah, let me know how mine measured up later, okay?" Eric chuckled as they all took their seats.

"I wouldn't know about the Fennel kid's, but I don't see a fruit cake so I'd say you're already in the lead," Don told him.

Once everyone was served, Patty doing the honors when Eric complained he had cooked all day, she reclaimed her seat and asked, "Before we begin, why don't we go around the table and say what we're all thankful for? I can't recall if we did that before or after Veronica arrived last year and it is tradition."

The half of the guests who just wanted to eat groaned in reply, but set their forks down all the same.

"I'll begin," Patty said from the end of the table. "I'm thankful that my youngest son has found a wonderful young woman that I will be happy to see become part of this family should she so choose. I am also thankful that you took me up on the invitation and decided to join us, Keith. It truly does mean a lot to me."

Keith nodded with a smile, though he couldn't help but look to Veronica and Lamb again, who to his relief seemed to be just as surprised by Patty's statement.

As the remainder of Lamb's family listed what they were thankful for, Keith was finding himself at a loss as he wondered what he had to be thankful for this year. Or even just today. His daughter was still clearly very much involved with a man he still hadn't forgiven for the past, now he was stuck in Texas with said man's dysfunctional family, having to hear Patty go on as though Don and Veronica were already married and the only person he could commiserate with was back in Neptune stuffing his twenty-five-year-old secretary's turkey. Just about the only thing he could think of was that he hadn't had to pay for this trip and that he didn't get roped into cooking. But of course he knew he couldn't say any of that.

"I'm thankful that with Veronica here I didn't end up having to take off to a bar on Thanksgiving again," Lamb said when his turn came.

Veronica followed with, "I'm thankful that my being here wasn't because I was on a job this time. And that I didn't have to pick Don up off a bar stool again."

When all was silent and Keith realized all eyes were on him, he knew he had to say something. The first thing that came to mind was so simple, he couldn't believe it had taken him almost ten minutes to think of it.

"I'm thankful that Veronica's happy." There was a silent addition he knew a few of the others would hear, that though he was thankful she was happy he still couldn't claim to be thrilled at who she was happy with. Still he knew at least everyone knew his statement was true.

"Alright then, if everyone's finished, I say we eat," Patty grinned before the others cheered in response.

"Where's my cinnamon cranberry thing?" Lamb asked as he looked the table over as best he could.

"It's a Cinnamon Cranberry Salad. You can't even be bothered to remember the name of the one thing only you eat?" Eric sighed.

"Just give me my food," he huffed as he held out his hand.

"It's either that or the rolls are going to start flying and you know it," Jack told Eric with a sympathetic half-smile.

"Is there anything else anyone wants specifically while we're at it?" Eric asked as he glanced at the others.

"Green beans?" Veronica asked cautiously, worried for a moment that they might be flung at her.

"Done," he smiled as he handed them to Ana who handed them to her.

Soon everyone had a bit of the green bean casserole, the mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce in addition to the slices of turkey and side stuffing they each had on their plates.

As the hour wore on, the biggest complaint was that Eric had made too much. He only smirked at the accusations of trying to fatten them up. No food fights broke out, the family squabbles seemed to have ended and the only one who felt they still needed a drink was Keith. But the urge began to subside when Patty talked about how her boys had been as children, how they had acted up until the meal was on the table even in those days.

"Okay, how about we each get a slice of pie, whichever pies you choose and head into the living room and watch a movie or some Thanksgiving special or something?" Steve suggested.

"How many pies are there?" Keith asked.

"Four, I think," Eric answered. "Unless there are any that didn't survive," he added with a glare to those who had ruined his presentation the year before.

"All your precious pies are still untouched," Jack told him.

"So you say. Anyway, there should be a pumpkin pie, a chocolate pie, a pecan pie and a Dutch apple pie. Sorry, Veronica, I was not making a cheesecake."

She laughed. "Well, with any luck Wallace won't deduct points for that."

"Just, please, if we're not eating here, please refrain from staining my carpet or furniture with either your competitions or eating habits," Patty stated, looking to her sons.

"Mom? Keith? How about you start the line?" Eric asked, wanting to keep an eye on the others himself.

A few minutes later they all agreed on whatever Thanksgiving special was playing on the channel they had left it on before they went to eat and were each seated with their pies and forks, each beginning to silently reflect on the day.

While it still felt business as usual for Lamb's brothers and in-laws, it was still surreal for Keith. But he knew he didn't have a choice now but to keep going through with the experience. For Lamb, he was just thankful he had gotten through the last two days alive and uninjured. The fact Veronica still seemed to like him was a bonus. Veronica couldn't believe the setting either, but at least Don's brothers were never lacking in the comedy department. And then Patty couldn't help herself from glancing to Don and Veronica, still wondering just how much longer it would be before she was officially part of the family. Sure she had backed off a little on the discussions of it, but that didn't mean it was any further from her mind.

It was another two or three specials before the tryptophan kicked in and everyone started getting tired. This time it was Patty who was first, followed soon by Eric and Ana to their respective rooms.

"That was nice of you earlier, your what you're thankful for thing," Veronica told Keith when it seemed they had a moment alone in the kitchen when they went to put their dishes in the sink.

"Well it's true," he shrugged.

"You just still wish it was someone else making me happy," she said, knowing what he had meant.

"This is where you tell me I should just be glad he isn't still arresting my little girl every other week, right? Or that it could be someone I tolerate even less?"

She smiled. "Pretty much. Besides, would you really trade this for anything else?" she asked as she glanced back to direct her father's attention to Lamb and his family watching an early Christmas movie. "Really, is there anything better than seeing Lamb being driven crazy by people other then us?"

"Well I did like our original plans more. I was perfectly happy with the idea of us sitting down to the parade and turkey and pumpkin pie at the apartment. But I will admit it could have been much worse."

"That's the spirit!" she told him with a grin before she headed off to join the others, happy to see the spot beside Lamb was still free.

Within the next hour everyone else had gone upstairs to their respective rooms too. Not that any of them were particularly happy about it. They all, save for Patty, missed their own homes and their own beds and while staying at Patty's house meant being in the rooms the Lamb men grew up in, they still hated it having to be like this. Girls with the girls, guys with the guys and such. Maybe it really was more like camp then they wanted to admit.

Eric was the first to decide he couldn't take it anymore. Across the hall Veronica was suffering in silence as Ana began to snore. For Lamb he just hated having to be on the floor. It hurt his back, his eldest brother and Steve had taken over his bed, but at least Eric was quieter. He realized why when he saw him opening the door and trying to be as silent as he could be as he slipped out into the hall with his pillow and blanket.

"Hey," he said, wondering if he was really seeing Veronica passing him in the hall or if his tired eyes were playing tricks on him.

"Hey," she whispered back. "I couldn't sleep."

"Me either. Uh, would you mind if I crashed in my old room with you and Ana?"

Veronica thought for a moment. "Actually, you can take the bed with her. I think I might chance it in Don's room."

Eric chuckled. "Enjoy."

Lamb turned over away from the yellow light spilling into the room when the door quietly opened again. He knew why his mother insisted on the hall light being left on, especially with so many people at the house, but he still hated it.

Veronica couldn't help but stare for a moment after she had closed the door. Her man was there on the floor, clearly still awake and trying to pretend to be anywhere else. The pillow over his free ear gave him away. With a smirk she headed over, deciding to surprise him.

"What -?" he shouted in a whisper when he felt a hand move down his side.

Veronica giggled as quietly as she could manage when he sat up so fast he almost knocked her over. "Hi."

"Veronica?"

She nodded. "Ana snores. And Eric's bed isn't the comfiest. Besides, Eric wanted to sleep in there tonight."

"I'd offer the bed, but as you can see it's occupied," he whispered back to her. "Best I can offer is this lovely spot of floor."

"I'm too tired to care," she sighed as she moved to lay down beside him. Deciding the same was true for himself, Don followed her lead in mere seconds.

Two days later, after the majority of the leftovers had been finished and the goodbyes were said, everyone had returned home. After taking Sunday to rest and recuperate, it was time to play catch up, Lamb had his hands full at the station while Keith invited Cliff over to Mars Investigations and Veronica and Wallace sat down on her sofa to find out once and for all who won their Interstate Pie Duel.

"You know, V, not to be Captain Obvious or anything, but I'm seein' more pictures of your boy and his family here then food," Wallace said as he flipped through the pictures on Veronica's phone.

"Ah, but the pictures there are of food, you can get an idea of what a fantastic chef Eric is. And did you count the number of pies present?"

"Yeah and I don't see any cheesecake."

"Cheesecake isn't pie. You should've seen Eric's face when I mentioned it. Also, you had a fruit cake at your Thanksgiving, which according to Lamb, also puts me in the lead," she grinned.

"I think you're spending way too much time with the sheriff's family."

"Oh, come on, I see them twice a year. Well, all in the same place at least. Patty did come over for Lamb's birthday. The big 3-1 and all."

Wallace just shook his head. He knew Veronica would be back to normal at some point. In the meantime he would just have to listen to her go on about Lamb and his family. Really, part of him wanted to shake Keith's hand for getting through it. He knew if it had been him he probably would have tried to get out of there as fast as possible in any way he could.

Speaking of Keith, he and Cliff were making beer plans for after work. He still hadn't quite recovered from the Lamb-tastic four-day weekend, especially not when Veronica had so enthusiastically said that they would be back next year. Not only did that mean more time with Lamb's family, but with those few words she had all but said she still planned to be with Lamb in another year.

Of course it didn't help that Patty, Jack, Steve, Eric and Ana were coming back for Christmas too. Sure Lamb was glad to have a warning this time, as was Keith, but he really felt he had dodged a bullet last year. All he could imagine was Don pulling out a ring in front of all of them and asking Veronica those four words that he had hoped anyone but Don Lamb would ask her. Clearly he would need to stop off and pick up another six-pack before going over to Cliff's place for dinner.

As for what this Christmas would bring, well, they all knew it was anyone's guess. What could Santa have in store this time? What ever it was, they knew they would find out in twenty-eight days.

The End


End file.
